Friday, June 15, 2012

Lullaby

Yesterday I was working and listening to my iTunes. The Dixie Chicks song 'Lullaby' came on. That song and many others immediately remind me of the boys' Bar Mitzvah videos. I used lots of my favorite songs in those videos. A few years back I had a drive crash and, apparently, Sammy's Bar Mitzvah video was on it. I could re-create the video pretty easily as I have all the photos in folders, and all the songs. Instead, I decided last night to use just that one song and make a video of Sammy, ages 0-18. I made one for Joey... I even made a video of Lily. Sammy deserves his own.

As some of you may know, Sammy is on a month long trip to Europe with friends. He left Monday afternoon. I miss him terribly. I thought I was going to be able to handle Sammy leaving home. I thought it would be easier because now I will not have to wonder where he is at 3:00am. I will not have to wonder if he made it to class... on time, or at all. I will not have to worry whether he turned in his homework--or got in trouble. He is off to college and in complete control of his own destiny. At 3:00am when I sit bolt upright in bed in panic and wonder, where is he (as I did for a couple weeks after we dropped Joey at college), I will lay back down and go back to sleep knowing he is at college, being his own person, doing what he wants to do, continuing his journey to who he will eventually be--on his own.

For now, that painful emptiness is just teasing me, because he is in Europe--not at college. This is just a precursor for what is to come. He will return and then we will say good-bye again and then our house will truly have a void. When both boys leave in August, Joey for his semester abroad in Amsterdam, and Sammy for college in Maine, we will be alone.

One day you get this great gift handed to you. A gift that comes with so much responsibility and yet such great joy. And then, you turn around, and they are grown. Here is a video that, in a little under 6 minutes, spans 18 years of my sweet, sweet, Sammy. This is one second child that does not lack for photos.

3 comments:

Andy said...

Great video! It is crazy to me that he is going off to college.

Sarah said...

Ahhh...I have never heard that song before, I really like it. You have done a great job with those boys Kari. You have given them so may opportunities and they are successful, good kids. I hope that I can live up to the example you have set.

Kari said...

I finally just watched this video again... it makes me happy and sad, all at the same time. I miss my boys!