As some of you may know, Sammy is on a month long trip to Europe with friends. He left Monday afternoon. I miss him terribly. I thought I was going to be able to handle Sammy leaving home. I thought it would be easier because now I will not have to wonder where he is at 3:00am. I will not have to wonder if he made it to class... on time, or at all. I will not have to worry whether he turned in his homework--or got in trouble. He is off to college and in complete control of his own destiny. At 3:00am when I sit bolt upright in bed in panic and wonder, where is he (as I did for a couple weeks after we dropped Joey at college), I will lay back down and go back to sleep knowing he is at college, being his own person, doing what he wants to do, continuing his journey to who he will eventually be--on his own.
For now, that painful emptiness is just teasing me, because he is in Europe--not at college. This is just a precursor for what is to come. He will return and then we will say good-bye again and then our house will truly have a void. When both boys leave in August, Joey for his semester abroad in Amsterdam, and Sammy for college in Maine, we will be alone.
One day you get this great gift handed to you. A gift that comes with so much responsibility and yet such great joy. And then, you turn around, and they are grown. Here is a video that, in a little under 6 minutes, spans 18 years of my sweet, sweet, Sammy. This is one second child that does not lack for photos.